I'm waiting, Waiting for something big. Huge even.
A decision that will shape my future. Perhaps turn my world up side down.
Fearing the worst. But hoping for the best.
I have been trying positive visualisations. Trying prayers. Trying deals with higher powers.
Trying, trying, trying.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I'm still waiting. Dreading. Hoping. Worrying. Yearning.
Crossing fingers (and eyes and toes!).
Contemplating what changes may come. Remembering so fondly what has been.
I hate waiting! Ggggrrrrrr!
Filling in time. Pacing. Shopping. Spending money I don't have.
Eating. Getting VERY grouchy with everyone.
I did have some luck at the op shops during my time wasting shopping jaunts with me scoring new beads, a bag and blouses.
Whilst always happy when I am blessed with a great treasure haul this time I kind of wish I could have saved my luck for what I really need. And what I am waiting for.
Others could sense my desperation (just look at that weird pinched look on my face!) as lovely people kept offering me freebies. The lovely blue beads were kindly given to me by the elderly lady that manned a charity shop.
That bastard time keeps taunting me. Tick tock. Mock, mock. mock.
I have even cleaned to try and kill some of that bloody time.
I have wandered and meandered through all of the what ifs and the maybes, stumbling over all the possibilities. Why do things have to change?
I hate waiting.........
And now the waiting is over.
And the news is not good.
And all I want now is to be waiting again.